suffocating.

I'm suffocating ... I'm lost and hurting, and hiding from the world..

My life has spiraled and I want structure more then anything right now.. I crave it I need it.. oh god.. I do..

The past month or so has been a hectic whirlwind of Drama, nonsense and pain.. more so then I'd ever care to have... And I'm so numb.

I came to brandon to get my Car fixed... Car is fixed but at a huge price...
One is me getting hurt from a lying asshole...... but I'm stupid and naive so I guess it happens....
Another is I was kicked out.. or more or less my shit was packed when I returned home so I took it and left...... then my mother called me and screamed at me because how dare I come take my shit while they weren't there...

I've been "disowned" Apparently.. So whatever..

I also can NOT go to school.. atleast not for four years which kills me inside.. so much. Cause I want that more then anything..
I'm not sure what to do really....

I need help I know that.. I need structure..
I'm loosing my mind, I'm distraught, I'm always tired, I'm losing weight... I want to cut so fucking bad but I wont I can't stand this anymore... it's so fucking hard everyday.. it hurts so much..

oh god.. I need help..

please..